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(HealthNewsDigest.com) – There was a saying when I was small: “Parents, do you know where your kids are?” It aired to remind parents to check up on their kids. It encouraged parents to set and enforce a curfew so their kids wouldn’t get into trouble. Times have changed. Those kids have grown up and now those kids have kids and aging parents. Many of these parents are in assisted living homes and, although these homes look safe and inviting for Grandma and Grandpa, they are also places where older people live, sleep, socialize and have sex.
It may come as a surprise but elderly people can and do enjoy sex well into their eighties. Being sexual is a sign of being healthy and many of the residents are very healthy. Some decided to live in an assisted living home to be in a community where they would know more people their age. Some did it to get away from their kids and many live in an assisted living home due to minor medical problems that just require additional supervision. I see at least two patients per week who are well into their seventies and are looking for education on how they can enjoy sex and their love life more. They are refreshing and I hope I am just like them when I am that age.
There is a word of caution for the children of these residents though. There are a few residents who may enjoy sex and not have a partner. Often times they find one, two or even three partners in the home. This can be a risk for your parents if they aren’t taught about their bodies as they age. Women still need to go for a gynecological exam and men need to be examined by an internist. They may need medications to stay safe or education about infections and lubricants. Older people forget that they too can catch an STD (Sexually Transmitted Disease) from another resident. Older people want to talk about these things, but many times their children are so embarrassed to bring the topic up that they feel ashamed or live in fear that they should not be having these feelings.
How Can You Help Your Parent?
Talk to them and tell them they can talk to you about anything. You may not know the answers, but you will find someone who does.
If they confide in you that there is someone special in the home then your first response should focus on making sure your parent is safe (abuse happens in assisted living homes just as it does everywhere else). Gynecological exams are a continued must for sexually active women.
Help your parents understand that many of their medications may affect the way they feel. They may not be thinking as clearly as they once did and may find themselves taking unwarranted risks.
Remind yourself that just because they are old and/or in an assisted living home they are still capable of a physical and emotional love. They have every right to enjoy the love of another person as long as they are knowledgeable about risks and practice safe sex.
For more information please go to : www.maryjorapini.com
Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC, is featured on TLC’s new series, Big Medicine which completed season one and two. She is also a contributing expert for Cosmopolitan magazine, Women’s Health, First, and Seventeen magazine. Mary Jo writes her own column (Note to Self) in the Houston Chronicle and “Ask Mary Jo” in Houston Family Magazine. She is an intimacy and sex counselor, and specializes in relationships. She is a popular speaker across the nation, with multiple repeat requests to serve as key-note speaker for national conferences. Her dynamic style is particularly engaging for those dealing with intimacy issues and relationship challenges, or those simply hanging on to unasked questions about sex in relationships. She was recently a major participant in a symposium for young girls dealing with body image and helping girls become strong women. Rapini is the author of Is God Pink? Dying to Heal and co-author of Start Talking: A Girl’s Guide for You and Your Mom about Health, Sex or Whatever. She has appeared on television programs including Montel, Fox Morning News and various Houston television and radio programs. Keep up with the latest advice at http://maryjorapini.com
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