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(HealthNewsDigest.com) – I loved Michael Jackson’s music. He was unbelievably skilled, and I cannot imagine trying to parent such a gifted child at such a young age. Keeping the balance would have been difficult but not impossible. In Michael’s case, it did not exist.
For a young child working toward a goal can be fun. Working toward a career is a whole different concept. He (Michael) was a kid, he couldn’t see far enough ahead to think of his career. He needed time to be with friends, to dream, to play. He got none of these things. He had very few friends and when he did make friends he chose people much older. He became so out of touch with whom he was that he had no idea of what it would be like to relate to a peer his own age. Where did his parents go wrong? How did it happen?
It is complicated. There are concrete building blocks your child needs to be healthy no matter how gifted they may be. I have listed several below:
1. When you guide a child into making the right decision you will raise a more successful child than one who has been told what to do. Parents need to understand what their child wants and then help them find a way to achieve that without dictating what you would do. There are more than 100 ways to complete a task…your way is not the only way.
2. When a parent dictates they raise a child who has to inevitably rebel. Your child is not you; they will have their own interests. Pushing your interests onto them leads to resentment and failure to achieve.
3. Let your child do their own work and find the answers without helping them. You can support them, and let them know you will help them find the information but let them find it. Congratulate their effort and sing their praise when they accomplish the goal they have set.
4. Friendships are very important. Have your home open to their friends; this is how your child learns sharing and compassion. Your child’s friends are helping them build self-esteem and teaching them their own self worth. Support your children’s friends; make your home a “safe place”.
5. Your child needs to learn early, that no one is good at everything. They learn this from you. Be honest with your child in regards to what you are good at and also what you fail at. They will not judge you, they will love you more.
6. Each year we lose kids to suicide. When suicide happens at a young age it is usually related with how the child viewed their performance compared to their parent’s expectations. Your kids care what you think. Don’t push your kids, support them and embrace their dreams. They are not here to fulfill your unmet goals or needs.
7. It is never your job to push your children. It is your place to teach them the skills they need to push and motivate themselves. Just as it is your job to teach them to take time to play, dream, and most of all to love….
For more information…go to www.maryjorapini.com
Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC, is featured on TLC’s new series, Big Medicine which completed season one and two. She is also a contributing expert for Cosmopolitan magazine, Women’s Health, First, and Seventeen magazine. Mary Jo writes her own column (Note to Self) in the Houston Chronicle and “Ask Mary Jo” in Houston Family Magazine. She is an intimacy and sex counselor, and specializes in relationships. She is a popular speaker across the nation, with multiple repeat requests to serve as key-note speaker for national conferences. Her dynamic style is particularly engaging for those dealing with intimacy issues and relationship challenges, or those simply hanging on to unasked questions about sex in relationships. She was recently a major participant in a symposium for young girls dealing with body image and helping girls become strong women. Rapini is the author of Is God Pink? Dying to Heal and co-author of Start Talking: A Girl’s Guide for You and Your Mom about Health, Sex or Whatever. She has appeared on television programs including Montel, Fox Morning News and various Houston television and radio programs. Keep up with the latest advice at http://maryjorapini.com
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