|
|
(HealthNewsDigest.com) – It happens to all of us. We fall in love with someone who doesn’t love us back. This is different than someone who breaks up with us or steals our heart and then dumps us. This is that person that we love and want to be with, but can’t either due to difficult circumstances or their affection for someone else. It can become even more difficult if this person tries to use us to help them get the attention of someone else.
Suggestions on how to get over or past loving this person who cannot love you.
1. If it is possible (you don’t live with the person or work with them) try limiting the time you spend with them. Don’t put yourself in a position where you are forced to be around them.
2. Never try to talk this person into learning to love you. It will never be enough and you will end up feeling more humiliated in regards to your own self esteem.
3. Find a prayer or a quote that makes you feel empowered. Recite it throughout the day and put it up on your bathroom mirror to say it while you are getting dressed in the morning. In a sense you are putting this quote on, just like you are wearing your clothes.
4. Find an outlet you can engage in. Exercise, join a book club, and write an article— anything that keeps you busy with less time to think will be helpful right now. You need to focus on other things besides how you are feeling.
5. Tell your family and friends what you are going through. Ask them for support. Keep the people who love you around you. This could be your parents, grandparents, siblings, other friends or even pets. Don’t be afraid to ask them for a little bit of extra moral support.
6. Surround yourself with family, but also the friends who make you feel good about being you. Most of us have friends who bring us up when we are down. Don’t hibernate; when you are dealing with loss of love or the loss of the possibility of love you should not be alone.
7. Take extra time to nurture and improve yourself. This can be done by getting a new haircut, a massage, or sleeping in. Just as your emotions go through a slump with the loss of love, so does your body. Nurturing your body will remind yourself how valued you are.
8. When you are ready to try again, begin by hanging out with good friends or people you would consider dating. Take it slow. Although having someone who is unable to love you is hurtful, it is also an opportunity to learn more about yourself and what kind of a person/relationship you really want. You will inevitably fall in love again and this time you will be all the wiser for what you went through.
The moral of this story is that we all get rejected at some time in our life. Usually if we ended up with the person we were so in love with it would have been a disaster. But…that’s hind sight, and when you are going through it, the pain can be so hurtful. Remind yourself that you are not alone in this pain.
For more information go to: Mary Jo Rapini
Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC, is featured on TLC’s new series, Big Medicine which completed season one and two. She is also a contributing expert for Cosmopolitan magazine, Women’s Health, First, and Seventeen magazine. Mary Jo has a syndicated column (Note to Self) in the Houston Chronicle, is a contributing columnist to HealthNewsDigest.com and “Ask Mary Jo” in Houston Family Magazine. She is an intimacy and sex counselor, and specializes in empowering relationships. She has worked with the Pelvic restorative center at Methodist Hospital since 2007.
Mary Jo is a popular speaker across the nation, with multiple repeat requests to serve as key-note speaker for national conferences. Her dynamic style is particularly engaging for those dealing with intimacy issues and relationship challenges, or those simply hanging on to unasked questions about sex in relationships. She was recently a major participant in a symposium for young girls dealing with body image and helping girls become strong women. Rapini is the author of Is God Pink? Dying to Heal and co-author of Start Talking: A Girl’s Guide for You and Your Mom about Health, Sex or Whatever. She has appeared on television programs including Montel, Fox Morning News and various Houston television and radio programs. Keep up with the latest advice by clicking here: Mary Jo Rapini
Subscribe to our FREE Ezine and be eligible for Health News, discounted products/services and coupons related to your Health. We publish 24/7.
HealthNewsDigest.com
We also create, produce and distribute tv/cable public service campaigns: HealthyTelevisionProductions