|
|
(HealthNewsDigest.com) – I work with a woman who is a professional, attractive and basically has it together. She is successful with her life, has her own place, makes good money and has a great family. In fact, you would be hard pressed to find one thing not appealing about her. She has one problem she doesn’t know what to do with. How come she can attract men, get dates, have a great time and then after about three dates she doesn’t hear back from them? They say the typical thing: “I’ll call you”. They never do call, and basically give no reason as to why they aren’t interested anymore. This woman believes if she calls the guy or texts him he will give her insights regarding what happened. If the guy doesn’t call you when he says he will, do you really expect him to give you honest reasons about why he stopped calling?
These educated women have no idea what guys think. They are comparing men to how they (and their girlfriends) relate and that is part of the problem. If the guy has a kid these women go out of their way to say “I like kids.” If the guy says, “I am really busy this week,” the woman brings homemade soup to his place. These guys do not want what they can have so easily. They want the chase. Men want women to enjoy being themselves. They have an exquisite radar for women who like being in their own skin. They want a woman to really like herself and maintain her interests that first attracted them to her. The more independent the woman the less baggage for the guy to have to worry about carrying, and when a woman is invested in her own life the less chance she will be clingy. These women are very selective in who they date. When they find one to whom they can actually relate, they work hard to make it work. The relationship becomes paramount to them and they forget who they are because they are no longer themselves, they are part of this relationship. Their timing is off. Becoming part of a relationship is important when you are engaged or getting ready to be married, but don’t jump there too quickly from meeting someone. You will bore the man.
How to prevent the third date drop
1. Ask yourself what the big rush is about. Why does he have to text you or call you back after every date? Enjoy the experience. Give it time and space, breathe, and get on with your own life.
2. Take the objective out of dating. Instead, enjoy the time.
Talk about interesting things, what you are reading, and what you are doing. Forget the rundown of his life or yours. It doesn’t matter until you are getting closer to becoming an intimate couple.
3. Ask yourself what turns you on. Why would a guy want to keep dating you? If your answer is because you are educated, pretty and want a family that is NOT enough. Guys are smarter than that, ladies. They are into looks, but take a look around. Most guys aren’t with the most beautiful women, but those women are doing something that keeps those guys interested.
4. Change your thinking. Instead of trying to fit into a relationship, make the relationship fit into you. That changes the dynamics of power within the relationship. We can learn from guys here. Guys don’t give up who they are for a relationship. They work the relationship in, and women would benefit by doing the same.
5. Make the dates about having fun. Quit worrying about how you look, and instead enjoy the company. It isn’t an interview, and it isn’t the Spanish inquisition. It’s a date…an enjoyable time-limited opportunity. It may mean nothing…it may turn out to be everything. After the date has ended let go. –Mary Jo Rapini
For more information go to: www.maryjorapini.com
Twitter.com: @maryjorapini
Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC, is featured on TLC’s new series, Big Medicine which completed season one and two. She is also a contributing expert for Cosmopolitan magazine, Women’s Health, First, and Seventeen magazine. Mary Jo has a syndicated column (Note to Self) in the Houston Chronicle, is a Love/Relationships columnist to HealthNewsDigest.com and “Ask Mary Jo” in Houston Family Magazine. She is an intimacy and sex counselor, and specializes in empowering relationships. She has worked with the Pelvic restorative center at Methodist Hospital since 2007.
Mary Jo is a popular speaker across the nation, with multiple repeat requests to serve as key-note speaker for national conferences. Her dynamic style is particularly engaging for those dealing with intimacy issues and relationship challenges, or those simply hanging on to unasked questions about sex in relationships. She was recently a major participant in a symposium for young girls dealing with body image and helping girls become strong women. Rapini is the author of Is God Pink? Dying to Heal and co-author of Start Talking: A Girl’s Guide for You and Your Mom about Health, Sex or Whatever. She has appeared on television programs including Montel, Fox Morning News and various Houston television and radio programs. Keep up with the latest advice at Mary Jo Rapini
Subscribe to our FREE Ezine and receive current Health News, be eligible for discounted products/services and coupons related to your Health. We publish 24/7.
HealthNewsDigest.com
For advertising/promotion, email: [email protected] Or call toll free: 877- 634-9180