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(HealthNewsDigest.com) – We all have times when we argue with the one we love. Sometimes those arguments turn into episodes that hurt feelings and make people feel unloved. This list will be most effective if you talk to your partner prior to instituting it into your marriage. Agree that you hurt each other with words when you are angry or upset. Agree to give each other a time out to complete one or several things from this list before you talk over the issue you were fighting about. This list consists of 75 things you can do instead of fight with your parnter. Make a copy of this and put it up in your home. No one has to use words when they are angry and sometimes it is wiser not to.
1. Work on a jigsaw puzzle (the more pieces the more helpful).
2. Wash the car.
3. Rake leaves.
4. Vacuum one room of the house and keep going until you feel less angry.
5. Do a load of laundry.
6. Iron.
7. Mow the lawn.
8. Caulk all the showers and tubs.
9. Varnish or paint the front door.
10. Sort out your clothes, saving bags of clothes for various charities.
11. Dust the furniture.
12. Call a friend.
13. Listen to your favorite music.
14. Walk around the block or several blocks.
15. Run.
16. Do jumping jacks. This will raise your endorphins and make you see things in a new light.
17. Jump rope (at least 10 minutes.)
18. Write a story in your journal about what happened.
19. Make cookies or cupcakes from scratch.
20. Make lasagna or something else that will take the focus off of your anger.
21. Bake bread from scratch. Kneading and pounding the dough may help.
22. Pray.
23. Watch a funny movie.
24. Search for funny youtube videos.
25. Get a manicure.
26. Get a massage.
27. Take a shower. Sometimes warm or cold water help people feel better.
28. Spray a nice smelling cologne or perfume. Smells, like lavender or vanilla, help us calm down.
29. Take a hot bath and put nice smelling bath oils in the water.
30. Do wood working. Sanding and concentrating can help you refocus.
31. Write a letter to the person you are angry at. Tell them why you are so upset. Either burn the letter or save it. Never send it for at least 48 hours.
32. Look at happy photos of the two of you and any children you may have. This makes us able to see things in a different perspective.
33. Scrub the kitchen floor, sink and or counters.
34. Throw a ball or play with your dog. If you have cats, let them chase light from a flashlight.
35. Paint a pitcher, sketch, or paint a piece of furniture. Doing something creative will help).
36. Play computer games or solitaire.
37. Practice a mantra. I like “Let go, Let God,” or, “This too shall pass.” Anything that helps you feel in control and at peace will help.
38. Practice the piano or guitar. Musical instruments have a way of taking us out of our thoughts and changing the mood.
39. Sip a cup of hot tea.
40. Stroll in a bookstore.
41. Put a model plane, train or car together. This is a good way to divert our attention and not talk.
42. Shoot hoops.
43. Work on a crossword puzzle.
44. Go to the grocery store.
45. Go to an art museum.
46. Go to a flower shop and buy yourself a bouquet.
47. Get your hair cut. Having your hair washed and your scalp massaged helps dissolve anger.
48. Wash your dog or pet.
49. Dance.
50. Go fishing.
51. Surf the Internet.
52. Go to a driving range and hit golf balls.
53. Go to the park or find a wall where you can hit a tennis ball.
54. Go to a batting cage.
55. Go to an arcade.
56. Trim the bushes or tree branches in the yard.
57. Go bowling.
58. Listen to a CD of rain or nature sounds.
59. Wash the windows.
60. Replant the plants that have outgrown their pots. Digging in the dirt helps ground us and keep us in the here and now.
61. Brush your teeth. Don’t forget to floss too!
62. Splash water on your face. Cold water is the best.
63. Check your light bulbs and change them.
64. Change the air conditioning filters.
65. Polish your shoes.
66. Look through magazines.
67. Work-out with a DVD video. Abs of steel is a great way to sweat and feel good about yourself.
68. Change your oil.
69. Check the air in your tires.
70. Wash the wheels of your car.
71. Go for a bike ride (wear your helmet)
72. Play with a remote car or boat.
73. Go swimming.
74. Watch an old movie.
75. Clean out a drawer you have noted in the past is too cluttered. –Mary Jo Rapini
For more information go to: Mary Jo Rapini
Talk to me on my fan page: http://www.facebook.com/maryjorapini
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Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC, is featured on TLC’s new series, Big Medicine which completed season one and two. She is also a contributing expert for Cosmopolitan magazine, Women’s Health, First, and Seventeen magazine. Mary Jo has a syndicated column (Note to Self) in the Houston Chronicle, is a Love/Relationships columnist to HealthNewsDigest.com and “Ask Mary Jo” in Houston Family Magazine. She is an intimacy and sex counselor, and specializes in empowering relationships. She has worked with the Pelvic restorative center at Methodist Hospital since 2007.
Mary Jo is a popular speaker across the nation, with multiple repeat requests to serve as key-note speaker for national conferences. Her dynamic style is particularly engaging for those dealing with intimacy issues and relationship challenges, or those simply hanging on to unasked questions about sex in relationships. She was recently a major participant in a symposium for young girls dealing with body image and helping girls become strong women. Rapini is the author of Is God Pink? Dying to Heal and co-author of Start Talking: A Girl’s Guide for You and Your Mom about Health, Sex or Whatever. She has appeared on television programs including Montel, Fox Morning News and various Houston television and radio programs. Keep up with the latest advice at http://maryjorapini.com
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