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(HealthNewsDigest.com) – The National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior recently completed one of the most extensive national sex studies in twenty years. The study reported that “friends with benefits” isn’t just for teenagers or college kids. Although teens and college kids may have popularized the term, it has been going on since the 60s with free love and loving the one you are with. The study proved that 23% of men over 50 have sex with a friend or new acquaintance. For women over 50 years that number was 13%.
This study was surprising in that 75% of the men over 50 who had a friend or “new acquaintance” did not use a condom. A significant number of these men did not know the sexual history of the person they were sleeping with. Compare that to teens and it looks like the adults are the irresponsible ones; 80% of teenage boys who reported having sex between the ages of 14 years and 17 years reported wearing a condom with the last person they were with. A sexually transmitted disease can be caught whether you are 50 or 18 years old. What makes older men feel immune?
1. Many of these men have been married before and never wore a condom. They have gotten use to not wearing one and don’t understand that you are sleeping with everyone your new partner has slept with in their life.
2. Many men over 50 years are worried about losing an erection if they wear a condom.
3. Men over 50 years may have been married for such a long time they are open to experimentation with someone new. They may be in a euphoric state and not thinking clearly about their risk of STD.
4. The media doesn’t show men over 50 years with” friends with benefits”. Condom use was in the media after the AIDS break out. Many of these men were in a committed relationship at that time and never learned the importance of using a condom with someone new. They feel reluctant to bring it up with their new acquaintance.
What will keep women who are dating 50-year-old men safe?
1. Talk to your new acquaintance about their sexual history.
2. Insist that before sex you will both be tested for HPV and other STDs. Make a date to share the results.
3. Until the results come back Insist your partner wear a condom. It may be awkward but don’t ever have sex with someone new without a condom.
4. Carry a condom in your purse. Many times in the heat of the moment you will find that your new boyfriend doesn’t have one with him. Take care of yourself first. If he complains about the way it feels tell him the alternative is not to have sex.
Just as in all relationships take your time getting to know your new friend. Sex should not be the first area you explore. You would be wise to find out some of his history. Fifty years is a long time to live and experience relationships. His history may save you a broken heart, and an STD. Most men will wait for someone they really care about. Women are the gatekeepers of sex. Don’t open the gate until you are sure the possible consequences are worth it. –Mary Jo Rapini
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