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(HealthNewsDigest.com) – Last night I was Christmas shopping in the Galleria. The Galleria had never looked more festive. The ice skaters, the huge tree in the center of the ice rink, and the Christmas music playing in each store door had me singing. I would have stayed in this euphoric state had it not been for one troubling event. A woman was yelling at her husband in front of a store regarding a gift he had bought for his daughter. “You got the wrong size,” she said, “She will hate it.” I got a glance at the man’s eyes as I walked by; the sadness, anger, and rejection made me turn away. I felt like I had seen something he didn’t want to share with anyone including himself.
The holidays are meant to be a festive time; it is a spirit of good will. All of us try to be our best “human self” and sometimes that is tough with the stress of shopping, spending money, and too many people around us. I believe all of these things dampen the spirit. Maybe we could all do better if we focus less on doing big things and focus more on doing little things to make others feel loved. Instead of “stuff” maybe we could all give a little time and effort. All it takes is sixty seconds to make someone’s day. Below are some ideas of what you can do to make someone feel special.
1. Make coffee for someone who usually makes it.
2. Go outside and pick up your neighbor’s paper and throw it up by their door.
3. Unload the dishwasher without being told.
4. Do one small chore that your spouse usually has to do.
5. Give your partner a hug at night and tell them aloud you love them (even if they are sleeping, a part of their brain hears this).
6. Get up a bit early and write a note to put in your spouse’s or child’s lunch or brief case. Something as simple as “You are the best” makes their day.
7. Take sixty seconds to turn on the hot water so your partner can have a nice shower. Lay their towel out for them. They will notice it.
8. When you want to scream, bite your finger and instead say, “Thank you.” (This word is almost always appropriate).
9. When you are in the car with your spouse and they are driving, touch and massage the back of their neck. If you do this, you will notice your spouse actually letting others cut in front of them.
10. When walking, grab your spouse’s hand…even for a short time.
11. When your child doesn’t understand a simple math equation, nuzzle them and tell them you believe in them.
12. When a friend is down, let them vent for sixty seconds before talking.
13. Try giving more sixty second hugs.
14. When you want to argue, try saying “You are right”. The world won’t crash down, and both of you are right and wrong in most arguments.
15. Pray for sixty seconds twice a day. It can be for you or others. Then watch and see what happens over a 6 week course.
We all can be terse and abrupt at times. We do this without thinking. It is mindless insensitivity, and we expect our loved ones to understand. During the holidays, you will feel better and enjoy the spirit more if you focus on “intentional kindness.” Like anything else, if you practice kindness for thirty days straight, you can develop a new habit. Can you imagine 2011 if we all focused on being more kind. Have a blessed Christmas. -Mary Jo Rapini
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