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(HealthNewsDigest.com) – In October 2010, Hollye Jacobs, RN, MS, MSW, found herself on the other side of the bed when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She has since dedicated her life to helping others navigate their cancer cycle with informed insight and guidance through her website, www.TheSilverPen.com.
All too often, parents avoid discussing a cancer diagnosis with children because they assume that “children can’t understand what is happening” or because they believe that “children shouldn’t be exposed to something so awful.” The key is to communicate with them in developmentally appropriate ways.
Ten tools for talking with children about cancer:
1. Plan ahead and think through what you are going to say.
2. Choose a time when you are calm, your children are well rested and no one is rushed.
3. Describe the disease in factual, truthful, and developmentally appropriate language.
4. Tell your children that cancer is not in any possible way contagious.
5. Reassure your children that they did absolutely nothing to cause the cancer.
6. Encourage your children to ask questions (frequently) and answer them to the best of your ability. If there is something that you don’t know the answer to, tell them that you will find out and get back to them.
7. Describe how their lives may change, e.g., disruption of routines.
8. Encourage your children to share their feelings.
9. Tell your children that they will be cared for by someone they know (and identify that person).
10. Seek professional assistance! Telling children about a cancer diagnosis in a family is emotionally difficult; however, there are professionals to help you every step of the way. Additionally, many hospitals and cancer centers have (wonderful!) professionally led support groups for children where they can ask questions and talk about their feelings and share experiences.
Hollye Jacobs has been an adult and pediatric palliative care nurse, social worker and educator for more than fifteen years at the University of Chicago Children’s Hospital, the City of Hope National Medical Center, the University of Chicago Pritzker School of Medicine and Northwestern Memorial Hospital. Diagnosed with breast cancer in 2010, she speaks publicly and writes about her experience on the award-winning The Silver Pen blog. Additionally, Hollye has been published in various medical journals and contributes to The Huffington Post, BreastCancer.org, Susan G. Komen, and the Dr. Susan Love Research Foundation Army of Women Blog.
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