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(HealthNewsDigest.com) – It’s no secret that the holidays can be a stressful time for everyone. When you add fertility treatment, that stress can rise to new levels leading to heightened emotions and reactions which can then produce physical symptoms. For many going through infertility, the holidays trigger feelings of anger, sadness and frustration because they act as a reminder of what you don’t have yet – the baby you’ve been dreaming of and actively moving heaven and earth for. Add increased anxiety levels from the odd or inappropriate comments you’ll receive from relatives at family gatherings and you’re hit smack in the center of your heart. It also hurts just to be around family, friends and coworkers who are pregnant or have children.
Here are reliable and effective coping strategies to help you get through this holiday season with minimal amounts of stress in the face of infertility:
Acupuncture is a 4,000 year old holistic medicine system that treats body, mind and spirit. It offers many benefits, both for fertility and for stress reduction. Acupuncture smooths and calms the nervous system. By reducing the stress response, it helps balance emotions and any of the physical symptoms of stress. Scheduling a few appointments during the holidays allows you some “me” time – time to disconnect and focus on your physical and mental wellbeing. The treatments are based on the individual and tailored to your specific needs. Stress affects everyone differently, so whether you need to improve your sleep, digestion, immune system, headaches, muscular tightness, etc.—acupuncture works on those symptoms as well as balancing your emotions. Acupuncture is a proactive way to help you maintain momentum towards your family building goal. Studies have shown that there is a correlation between reduced stress and increased fertility. This is regardless of the modality used to reduce the stress—yoga, counseling, meditation, acupuncture. Patients also report that they feel more relaxed and calmer after treatments, perhaps making it easier to deflect questions and comments.
The Mind Body approach is another benefit to a fertility patient while undergoing treatment during the holidays. This approach is based on research, which has shown there is a strong connection between your emotional state and the effects it has on your physical health. Many fertility patients experience chronic stress and this can make them feel anxious, irritable, angry and in turn can cause physical symptoms such as headaches, back and neck pain and stomach upset. There are different techniques to help fertility patients develop tools to decrease stress, which in turn will improve their overall physical health. The ultimate goal is for patients to learn ways to deal with the emotional rollercoaster of treatment. One of these tools includes a breathing technique that is short, easy to master and you can do it anywhere. It sounds simple …because it is! The benefits are that by slowing your breathing rate when you are feeling stressed you will benefit from slowing your heart rate, lowering your blood pressure, decrease muscle tension and decrease stress hormones in your body. One app I recommend is Ferticalm, which has many tips and techniques that are geared to work with fertility patients and easy to use to prepare for navigating the holidays more comfortably.
Putting yourself first. It’s important to remember that you can be proactive and maintain momentum by taking care of yourself. That means you can pick and choose which holiday events you attend and which you do not. Remember that skipping a holiday event this year doesn’t mean forever breaking a tradition, it just means taking a break. It may not be popular with everyone else, but it could be a key to finding that holiday Zen. If you do decide to attend a holiday event, plan for it in advance. Before you arrive, plan an exit strategy if you decide you want to leave early if things get uncomfortable . Decide on a code word with your partner or friend to let them know you want to leave. Lastly, focus on the pieces of the holiday you enjoy and look forward to those. Whether it is baking cookies, making crafts, volunteering or going out to dinner with a good friend, getting through the holidays in the midst of fertility treatment can be fun and stress-free.
Don’t Be Afraid to Cut Off Uncomfortable Conversations. Uncomfortable conversations are almost a tradition for family gatherings. You may find yourself the target of unwanted advice. Anything from “fertility diet” tips to why you shouldn’t “wait any longer” to have kids is common.
Also, conversations that focus on the negative aspects of pregnancy or parenting can get really upsetting. Create a script beforehand for those questions or comments you find difficult to answer on the fly. Rehearsing can help it be a smooth transition. If you find yourself in the middle of an uncomfortable conversation, don’t be afraid to switch the subject. Be direct if that doesn’t work. Simply state that you really don’t want to talk about this right now. It helps if you do it all with a smile and without any blame.
Give Yourself a Fertility Break. While you may be scheduled to undergo fertility treatments over the holidays, you may want to consider placing them on hold until the stress of the season has worn off. Others may consider holding off on fertility treatment because they don’t want to feel sad or anxious throughout the whole holiday season. It’s not going to make a difference if you hold off one or two months and start back up after the New Year. However, there are some factors you should weigh before deciding to put off fertility treatment over the holidays. For instance, if you haven’t already met your insurance deductible earlier in the year, you may need to fit in your fertility treatments before the end of the year, in order to save money. If you do decide to continue with treatment over the holidays, it can be helpful to look at it in a positive way.