Guest Columnist
You Can Keep Your Marriage Happy in financially Stressful Times!
By
Oct 15, 2008 - 9:58:40 AM

(HealthNewsDigest.com) - You may not be able to avoid the stress of worrying about the economic situation, but you'll get through it a lot easier if you and your spouse can stay happy and connected. It might be a bit more challenging to keep the love going during tough times, so here are some suggestions!

Five things you can do to keep your marriage happy in stressful times

1. The next time you are hurt or disappointed with your partner, put your attention on yourself. Notice if you have lost curiosity, and compassion toward your partner. Does he or she suddenly feel like an enemy? Have you stopped caring about your partner's feelings? Are you blaming, criticizing, collapsing, losing hope, or distancing?

2. If so, take a moment to look inside and hear your thoughts and feelings.

Don't try to change them - just listen.

If you can be curious, reasons for your feelings will emerge. You may have gone into a protective mode, believing that your partner is causing you pain and it must be stopped as soon as possible - by attacking, forcing, demeaning, rejecting, collapsing, lecturing, punishing, or distancing.

3. Appreciate the reasons for your inner protectors. They are only trying to help you.

4. Ask yourself why your protectors think you need protection from your partner. Do they remember times when you were actually young or vulnerable and got a bit hurt? What's the connection between what your partner is doing now and some vulnerable memories you carry? A moment of connection with your inner feelings may be enough to calm them and bring you back to the present.

5. When your protectors relax, give better back to your partner than you are getting. Give a response with more calm, connection, clarity, courage, and compassion than you are getting.

Author of "Bring Yourself to Love: How Couples Can Turn Disconnection into Intimacy"

Bring Yourself To Love is a bronze medalist winner in the 2008 Independent Book Publishers awards http://www.loving-relationship-information.com

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