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(HealthNewsDigest.com) – Women are very sexual. We are also very busy—raising children, taking care of our families, working a full time job—and, therefore, exhausted. We do the majority of chores at home and we aren’t very good at taking time for ourselves. Is it any wonder when it comes to sex we are tired? When we are stressed and tired sex is the last thing we think about.
For TODAY I am asking you to think about it. Why? It is very important for your health, your marriage, and for your self-esteem.
Below are a few suggestions for helping you achieve a better sex life. You don’t need to do all of them. Focus on one or two and after you have achieved those try another one. Eventually, you will begin to feel more like the sensual creature you were meant to be.
The brain is the largest sex organ. You have to start here to feel good about sex. If you are angry or anxious in regards to a partner you have to deal with the brain first. Anger that is held in does not create good sex nor does it help you feel sexy.
Your attitude. Embrace yourself—you don’t need to be a perfect size. If you have curves and hips embrace them. This is one of the most beautiful aspects of women. Most of us have flaws, cellulite, acne, wrinkles. These “flaws” will not distract from a beautiful smile, or a warm embrace.
Fantasize. The more you think about sex the more you will want it so be sure to take time to think about it. Read romance novels, listen to music, and move your hips. Whatever gets you in the mood or makes you feel sexy is acceptable.
Get to know your body. Touch yourself so you know the sensitive areas of your body. Where does it make you feel good to touch? Do you get goose bumps when you touch a place on your neck or tummy? This knowledge is very important and helpful to the person loving you.
Foreplay. The name tells you what it is for. Remind your partner that foreplay starts first thing in the morning and lasts all day. Maybe your partner can empty the dishwasher, put the kids to bed, or go over homework. Your partner cannot read your mind so let them know where you need help.
Please yourself first. Instead of giving pleasure and settling for something that doesn’t satisfy you, try something new. Make sure you have an orgasm first before you please him.
Speak up. Tell your partner what you need to make you feel sexy and sensual.
Take time to be sensual. Rub on nice smelling lotions and take your time. Note how it feels and smells. Don’t hurry with pampering yourself. You will be a better mom and wife if you take time to adore yourself. You must love yourself to love another.
Watch movies or read books that make you feel sexual. Many women find sexual pleasure after reading a romance novel or watching a romantic love story.
Invest in massage oils, toys, high heels, lingerie, or anything that makes you feel like a sensual woman.
Many women need to be reminded to take time for themselves because we are conditioned to think we have to give to everyone else first. But be aware, this usually leads to resentment and projected anger.
Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC, is featured on TLC’s new series, Big Medicine which completed season one and two. She is also a contributing expert for Cosmopolitan magazine, Women’s Health, First, and Seventeen magazine. Mary Jo writes her own column (Note to Self) in the Houston Chronicle and “Ask Mary Jo” in Houston Family Magazine. She is an intimacy and sex counselor, and specializes in relationships. She is a popular speaker across the nation, with multiple repeat requests to serve as key-note speaker for national conferences. Her dynamic style is particularly engaging for those dealing with intimacy issues and relationship challenges, or those simply hanging on to unasked questions about sex in relationships. She was recently a major participant in a symposium for young girls dealing with body image and helping girls become strong women. Rapini is the author of Is God Pink? Dying to Heal and co-author of Start Talking: A Girl’s Guide for You and Your Mom about Health, Sex or Whatever. She has appeared on television programs including Montel, Fox Morning News and various Houston television and radio programs. Keep up with the latest advice at http://maryjorapini.com
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