“The best beginning for men traveling the breast cancer journey with the women they love.” — Ruth Oratz, M.D., The Women’s Oncology & Wellness Practice, New York University,
from her Foreword
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(HealthNewsDigest.com) – Every three minutes somewhere in the United States, a woman is told she has breast cancer. That translates into one in every eight American women—or over 184,000 women in 2008. There are thousands of resources, Web sites, and support groups available to help these women deal with every aspect of this devastating disease. Roughly every three minutes somewhere in the United States, a man is told that a woman he loves has breast cancer. Most often, these men are left to figure out how to help their wife, mother, sister, daughter, aunt, cousin, colleague, or friend—not to mention how to deal with their own fears and frustrations—alone.
John W. Anderson remembers the moment he was told that his wife, Sharon, had breast cancer. He remembers, twenty years earlier, the moment he was told that his mother, Anne, had breast cancer. He also remembers the moments he learned that his sister, Mary, and his mother’s best friend, Caryl, had breast cancer. After being there for four women, he set out to ease the journey for every man who wants to be there for a woman he cherishes when she is diagnosed with breast cancer. In STAND BY HER: A Breast Cancer Guide for Men (AMACOM; October 2, 2009; $18.95 Paperback), Anderson offers strategies and support on the countless medical and emotional minefields men face, every day, as husbands, sons, brothers, fathers, nephews, cousins, colleagues, and friends of breast cancer patients.
“You are about to be initiated into an exclusive men’s club, a group millions strong of men who have traveled the difficult journey you are about to undertake,” Anderson tells his readers upfront. “Welcome to the Stand by Her brotherhood.”
Written exclusively for men, STAND BY HER talks directly to men about their own gut reactions and overwhelming anxieties, as well as about what to expect from their loved one and her disease. Throughout, Anderson combines personal anecdotes and accounts from other men who have been there with expert advice on medical, psychological, family relationship, sexual, and financial issues. Each chapter focuses on a stage in the breast cancer process, framed with its own unique color to symbolize what the reader is feeling and will face.
Starting with the dreaded moment of diagnosis, when the world goes black, STAND BY HER walks with men through every step in becoming an invaluable caregiver and ally in their loved one’s breast cancer battles. Among many common experiences and challenges, men will find critical information and reassuring insights into:
v Understanding the specific nature and aggressiveness of her breast cancer and preparing for what might happen to her breast, her entire body, her personality, and your relationship.
v Assembling her army of caring and accomplished medical professionals, from a trusted oncologist to radiologists and surgeons, and supporting her choice of treatment.
v Creating her personal “corps” of supportive, uplifting family members and friends…and respecting her need for time with just other women and just by herself.
v Helping her recover from surgery and through the ordeal of chemotherapy, with practical tips on coping with the loss of her appetite, her hair, her attention span, and her sex drive.
v Maintaining a sense of normalcy in everyday life and making her feel beautiful, desirable, and perfectly capable of making decisions about her home, her career, her family, and her health.
v Celebrating each year of remission with a gratitude party, surviving the blow of a recurrence, and preparing, emotionally and practically, when the prognosis is bleak.
Featuring an extensive list of Web resources for patients and caregivers, STAND BY HER is the book that millions of husbands, sons, brothers, fathers, and friends have been longing for. By acknowledging their widely overlooked emotional pain and sense of helplessness, John Anderson empowers men to fight breast cancer, right beside the courageous women in their lives.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
John W. Anderson is the president and founder of The Farm, an advertising and production company with offices in New York and Virginia. He is an Emmy-nominated director of television commercials, including Lifetime Television’s “Stop Breast Cancer for Life” campaign, and a writer, producer, and director of television shows. He is a writer for newspapers and magazines whose work has appeared in The New York Times, Rolling Stone, The Nation, and many other publications. He has helped his mother, his mother’s best friend, his sister, and his wife and business partner, Sharon Rapoport, in their battles with breast cancer. He lives with his wife and two sons, Seth and Isaac, in Roanoke, Virginia. Visit the author’s blog at www.standbyher.org
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