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(HealthNewsDigest.com) – Approximately one out of every ten women who are pre-menopausal, peri-menopausal and menopausal suffer from a condition called Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder” (HSDD). Basically this means they can love their husband or boyfriend, but just don’t desire sex with them. This can have either a rapid or a slower, more chronic onset. In many cases there is nothing medically wrong; rather they just have no interest in sex. A German pharmaceutical company presented results from a pivotal phase III clinical trial in North America that it had found a drug that works. They saw an increase in sexually satisfying events, an increase in desire and a decrease in distress. The drug’s name is Flibanserin and in the 1990s it was released as an antidepressant (the drug proved not to work for depression). Flibanserin will rival the effects that Viagra has on men—almost—but, alas, the penis is easier to predict than the female’s sexual responses.
Viagra works in a very simple way. It increases blood flow to the penis and the man achieves an erection. Women’s anatomy is not so simple (men, I am not criticizing you for your simple anatomy). Attempting to treat low libido in women with a pill ignores the fact that many women’s level of desire is deeply affected by everyday stress and interpersonal relationships. Women’s sexuality is also tied in closely with their feelings in regards to their body image. Finding a woman who doesn’t struggle with her body image is like finding a needle in a haystack—very difficult.
I would love to say we found a cure for women’s low libido. I want Flibanserin to be successful! I would love it to equal the effects that Viagra accomplishes, but I doubt it ever will. The reason for this is that no one really understands yet what turns women on. We women don’t understand why one day we could make passionate love and the next day we simply have no sex drive. It makes no sense. That is why I believe that the proper solution to a lack of sexual desire would involve a number of non-drug approaches as well such as therapy, mind-body techniques, and getting partners involved in the relationship.
When Viagra came to the market we saw many things happen to couples. It did not save marriages as foreseen; it actually caused a fair share of divorces. Why? Many couples had gotten used to living without sex, so when the man could have an erection with Viagra and wanted some action with his wife, many wives rolled their eyes and thought, “Oh no, not this again”. Had we thought about this prior to Viagra we may have talked more about the benefits of couples counseling, intimacy building skills, as well as communication. We didn’t though, because we told ourselves the problem was the lack of an erection. An erection cannot talk, nor can it connect the way a man with good communication skills can. It’s not the erection that turns us on (we do know that) it’s the man.
If we have learned nothing else I hope we have learned this: a sex drug of any kind can or may turn us on, but being turned on does not mean we will be turned on by our partner. Many women who have lost their sexual desire have also lost the intimacy, communication, and feeling of being loved by their partner. If doctors prescribe Flibanserin, but forget about the counseling portion we may see an increase of women who have a high libido but not necessarily with the man they are married to.
Moral of the story—go ahead and take the medication (if and when it gets approved by the FDA) if you feel you have no libido, but also find a good therapist who can help you and your husband/boyfriend learn better ways to express intimacy and communication skills so your sex interest will be him and not someone you met on line. – Mary Jo Rapini. L.P.C. Intimacy/sex/relationship therapist.
For more information go to: Mary Jo Rapini
Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC, is featured on TLC’s new series, Big Medicine which completed season one and two. She is also a contributing expert for Cosmopolitan magazine, Women’s Health, First, and Seventeen magazines. In 2010 Mary Jo will be a contributing expert for Redbook and Self Magazine “Love and Relationship” section. Mary Jo is a “City Bright” writer for the Houston Chronicle, and is a contributing columnist to HealthNewsDigest.com and “Ask Mary Jo” in Houston Family Magazine. She is an intimacy and sex counselor, and specializes in empowering relationships in her private practice. She is the Intimacy/Sex psychotherapist for the Pelvic restorative center at Methodist Hospital since 2007 in conjunction with the Methodist Weight Management Center since 2005.
Mary Jo is a popular speaker across the nation, with multiple repeat requests to serve as key-note speaker for national conferences. Her dynamic style is particularly engaging for those dealing with intimacy issues and relationship challenges, or those simply hanging on to unasked questions about sex in relationships. She was recently a major participant in a symposium for young girls dealing with body image and helping girls become strong women. Rapini is the author of Is God Pink? Dying to Heal and co-author of Start Talking: A Girl’s Guide for You and Your Mom about Health, Sex or Whatever. She has appeared on television programs including CBS up to the Minute, Montel, Fox National Morning News and various Houston television and radio programs. Keep up with the latest advice at http://maryjorapini.com
Mary Jo Rapini
http://maryjo.mymethodistblog.com/
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