|
|
|
|
(HealthNewsDigest.com) – Children learn violence in their homes and in their schools from adults whose best intentions are to train them to be obedient, law-abiding citizens. To that end, corporal punishment has been used on children in many societies for hundreds of years.
Attitudes about corporal punishment are strong but they are finally beginning to change. Over one hundred countries throughout the world have banned the use of corporal punishment in schools and twenty-four countries have banned it at home as well. Sometimes it takes enacting laws to change people’s belief systems, especially when re-education is provided to young people. For example, recognizing the humanitarian and civil rights of African-Americans required changing laws and as a result great progress has been made in the last sixty years.
Governments can no longer ignore the evidence that hitting children teaches them to be aggressive and violent. The research is unequivocal in showing the long-term negative effects of spanking and hitting children. Some of these effects include increased child aggression, increased adult aggression, increased child delinquent and antisocial behavior just to name a few.
How does this apply to you, the parent, in terms of disciplining your children in the home? Many child development experts agree that hitting children does not teach them right from wrong but rather it makes them obey for the short-term when a parent is present and misbehave when the parent not present. This means we need to have a new understanding of discipline and what we can do to instill a child’s desire to be good. Children love their parents and really do want to please them. When they feel good in their relationship with their parents, when they feel valued and respected, they naturally want to be good. As they grow we can help them develop a well-developed conscience by teaching and modeling rather than relying on punishments. The following quote says it beautifully.
When we use punishment, our children are robbed of the opportunity to develop their own inner discipline- the ability to act with integrity, wisdom, compassion, and mercy when there is no external force holding them accountable for what they do.
Barbara Coloroso
Kids Are Worth It!
The goal of positive discipline is to teach children inner-discipline which comes from a highly developed conscience rather than the use of punishments that may include external force, shame, humiliation, isolation or coercion. We help children develop a conscience first through a strong, connected parent-child relationship and secondly, allowing them to feel remorse and teaching them how to reconcile their mistakes. We must also teach them to be kind, respectful and compassionate toward others and we do that best by being the example, by modeling that behavior with our children, to “be the change we wish to see in the world.”
There can be physical reasons behind a child’s behavior too. Some children are sensitive to certain foods, wheat, dairy, eggs, food coloring and preservatives are the most common. Low blood sugar is another common culprit. Active children burn a lot of calories, so make sure your child has small, healthy snacks between meals. Taking healthy snacks with you when you travel can help prevent bad moods and tantrums.
Transitioning to a positive discipline frame of mind takes a lot of practice and re-education. It’s helpful to find other parents who either practice positive discipline or need the support. Getting together frequently to support, share experiences and ideas can be very valuable. Your first step toward a peaceful home and a peaceful world can begin today.
For parents and caregivers looking for positive discipline resources:
Attached at the Heart: Eight Proven Parenting Principles for Raising Connected and Compassionate Children available at www.attachmentparenting.org and all major booksellers
www.cnvc.com – The Center for Nonviolent Communication
www.nospank.net – Web site for parents and teachers against violence in education
www.stophitting.com – Web site for The Center for Effective Discipline with a great deal of information about spanking and positive discipline tips.
About the authors:
Barbara Nicholson, M.Ed, is co-founder of Attachment Parenting International (API). For fifteen years she served as President of the Board of Directors of API. Barbara has a Masters of Education degree specializing in learning disabilities and has been a breastfeeding and parent support group facilitator for over 27 years. Barbara speaks to various groups and conferences and has given workshops about parenting as a prevention model for societal violence.
Lysa Parker (Lisa), MS ,CFLE, received her bachelor’s in education and her master’s degree in human development and family studies. She earned her designation of Certified Family Life Educator (CFLE) from the National Council on Family Relations in 2004. As cofounder of Attachment Parenting International (API), she served as the executive director for thirteen years, focusing on program development, public relations, and fundraising. Prior to her involvement with API, she worked as a special education teacher helping children with multiple handicaps and learning difficulties. Currently Lysa is a writer, speaker and parenting consultant in private practice at www.parentslifeline.com.
Subscribe to our FREE Ezine and receive current Health News, be eligible for discounted products/services and coupons related to your Health. We publish 24/7.
HealthNewsDigest.com
For advertising or promotion, email: [email protected]