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(HealthNewsDigest.com) – We all need to feel appreciated, and in marriage a lack of appreciation is one of the first signs of relationship breakdown. When you don’t feel appreciated you begin to feel resentful, tit for tat in arguments and unloved. If you want a great relationship or marriage, you need to appreciate your partner. In order to appreciate them you need to be attentive to them, and not take their simple acts of love for granted. I opened up the lines of communication with clients as well as my Facebook friends and asked them, “What makes you feel appreciated or how do you show appreciation to your spouse?” The 25 ways listed below are by no means the only ways. Talk to your spouse and make a list of what makes you feel appreciated. Practice saying and doing at least 3 of these a day for the life of your marriage.
1. Saying great things about your spouse out loud to your friends or family (so your spouse can hear them).
2. Telling your spouse’s parents and family face-to-face or in a card how grateful you are for your spouse, their child.
3. Telling your spouse how lucky you feel to have married him or her.
4. Telling the kids how awesome their mom or dad (your spouse) is. This is a self-esteem booster for your kids too because they love when parents brag on their other parent.
5. Holding their hand or staying near them at work parties where they may not know people or feel comfortable.
6. Introducing your spouse right away when you notice or are noticed by someone that your spouse doesn’t know.
7. Planning a date night and taking care of all the arrangements so the two of you can be alone.
8. Cooking a special meal or taking your spouse out to celebrate an award or anything your partner may have achieved.
9. Going to the doctor or any health specialist with your partner if your partner is apprehensive about going alone.
10. Taking your partner’s side when they are being self-critical or hard on themselves.
11. Defending your partner in front of their friends, family and your family when these people are critical of them.
12. Being receptive and appreciative when your partner initiates sex or intimacy.
13. Random acts of kindness acted on by your spouse.
14. Appreciating an unexpected gift or treasure given to you by your partner, no matter what it is.
15. Always remembering your partners’ birthday, anniversary and holidays with a card or gift. These dates symbolize feeling special, and giving appreciation for your spouse on these days is magnified.
16. Touching is a wonderful way to let your partner know they are appreciated.
17. Putting gas in the car when you notice it’s empty, or doing your partner’s laundry when you know they’ve had a crazy week.
18. Making the bed in the morning is making your spouse feel appreciated.
19. Waiting up for your partner’s safe return after a business trip shows them that they matter to you.
20. Never letting your partner go to work without saying goodbye, how much you will miss them, or making plans to see them after work. This is a little reassurance for your partner that they matter to you.
21. When you have an issue and you ask your partner’s opinion, this makes them feel appreciated.
22. Making “I Statements” instead of blaming your partner for your feelings helps them feel respected and valued.
23. Getting up 15 minutes earlier in the morning to make your partner a cup of coffee or tea makes them feel nurtured and appreciated.
24. Hugging your partner when they feel overwhelmed or down.
25. Listening to your partner and understanding them without advising them on what they should do.
These things may seem like small things, and they are. It’s so ironic that these small things are the very things that make you feel loved and prevent breakups and divorces. -Mary Jo Rapini
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